hazziebuzzie!

2012-01-15T05:54:00.008+08:00

I know that I will be accounted for.
I will be accounted for my friends' behaviours.

You know,
it is sometimes confusing to have friends from both sides of the world. You just could not blend in here, nor there. But you could mix well with them. You knew the topics to both sides. You knew who clicked with who and who doesn't. You knew them very well to know their likes and dislikes. You knew what could make them cry and what could make them laugh.

Yet,
you are not from the both sides, but they like being friends with you. Or even best friends. Though you are still reserving some of your thoughts, you still get along with them; who they are and what they wear. It is simply either you ignored, or,
you are just plain hypocritical.

Yes, hypocrite.
You know, the feeling of not wanting to lose them albeit the personality clashes, attitude problems, ignorance, backbiting, and whatnot.

I am sorry, dear friends, if I am being a hypocrite.
But I just could not help it. I did advised, I did what I could, for you to think of being someone better. I did not try to change you, but to persuade you into being the better you.

And I am sorry, dear friends, if I am being a hypocrite.
But I just could not help but noticing that you have changed to be someone better than me, thank God. But that does not mean that you can look down on me with my yet-to-change attitude or even my yet-to-change friends, with that, 'Hey, did you not advise them? Why'd you still hang out with them?' thinking. Or even worse, drifting away or putting up a barrier between us and
act as if nothing happened.

Come on!
It is part of your responsibility, too. Oh, now that you have changed and they are no longer your friends, hence no longer your responsibility?

Then I guess you have become worst than them.

2012-01-13T07:53:00.001+08:00

I am not lying when I say I miss blogging.
Only that sometimes the right words just wouldn't come out.
Or maybe it's just not the right time.
Yet.

2011-10-14T04:00:00.006+08:00

I am amazed by life and its mysteries.
Where do people get their courage from to do things
that they really wanted to do?

I guess I am a perfectionist after all.
I have never wanted to try, I have never wanted to finish up what I started. I have the tendency to run away from it. From anything that I am not brave enough to face it. I am this one girl with a lot to learn and achieve but is a coward. I am not a realist. I can't expect anybody to pull me down from the clouds, can I?
I mean, you know when life is a bit messy and you start to slack? That is when problems start to arise.
I am exactly in that position.

I slack.

2011-10-12T02:59:00.002+08:00

I really miss my family.
Especially my younger brother,
wherever he is.
May Allah bless them all.

2011-07-30T06:47:00.005+08:00

I was cleaning up those links in my dusty blog when it struck me; why remove those links when you can just preserve them? Even if the blogger does not update anymore, just let it be a memory worth cherishing. That's what blogs are supposed to be, right? I mean, we type our heart out, we rant, we rumble and babble about all the things in the world for people to read.
So I decided, let it be where it's supposed to be.

While cleaning up too that I actually took some time to read some latest updates from my classmates. It made me think and compare my life to theirs. Why can't life be like that? Some came from a broken family, a complicated family, but their lives are still as beautiful as they want it to be. It is them who decide what they are doing with it.
It is me.

It is I who steer my life to the destination that I want. But of course, everything is with His Will. If I chose to steer it to hell, then to hell I would be. If I chose to steer it to heaven, then to heaven I would be. It is not you, not them and not others. It has always been me. I am the change that I wanna be. I am the captain of my life. In the end, it is me who would be responsible for all the things that I've done.
It is me.

Why it took so long for me to realize it?

2011-07-29T06:15:00.010+08:00

And so I decided to update.

I love being in Kay Elle so much that I wish to change citizenship.
I am very irresponsible, be it in studies, activities, and et cetera.
I secretly missed a lot of people which you would never expect.
I am left with only a few clothes as I have yet to wash the rest.
I shopped a lot these days without thinking of the necessities.
I just hung up a Malaysian flag outside my room's window.
My night has become day and my day has become night.
I have fallen in and out of love a thousand times over.
My goal for 2013/2014 is to secure a job in Kay Elle.
I did not submit my short semester assignments.

You decide which is true, which is false.

2011-05-02T06:59:00.001+08:00

Can I get married now?
Like, now, now?

2011-02-19T18:47:00.006+08:00

I am falling in love with Malaysia!

I am serious.
I love the culture, the environment and not forgetting, the food. Well, if only there is a Malaysian for me to marry. (Haha!) Okay, not every aspect of the country, though. Such as the system, the cleanliness, the infrastructure, and the list goes on.
But here, I feel at ease. I feel peaceful.
I feel closer to Him.

Why, you may ask.
I am not sure, really. It is just that.. It feels more homely?
I mean, being far from your family and all makes you home sick. Fortunately, I am not. This is my battle zone, this is also my comfort zone. Everything that I feel here, I do not feel it in my home country. This one unfathomable feeling which no words could ever describe it, at all.

2010-12-17T01:12:00.003+08:00

Ya Allah..
why must there be regrets in life?
You know how I wanted so much to be near You;
to spread Your love, Your religion, to obey Your commands.

And I know,
there are a lot more ways to it;
to get closer to you.

Therefore Ya Rabb,
please take away this feeling of regret from me,
and please guide me through.

2010-11-08T04:10:00.011+08:00

I am feeling guilty for writing here when there is nowhere else I could turn to at this moment. Well, I just wanted a place to write, thus having hazziebuzzie in the first place.

Truth is,
I am heartbroken.
Let the real reason be only between me and the Almighty.
But here are the contributing reasons:

1. I am still behaving like a child when I am actually an undergraduate.

2. I am still having difficulties to sleep early.

3. I am in a dilemma of choosing my major in Malay Studies.

4. Well, actually no. 3 is not worrying at all. What I should be worrying about is
having second thoughts whether I am really suited for the course or whether it is the right course or even the right place that I should be studying in.

5. I don't think I am ready for any University examinations as of now.

6. I am a bad servant with a very bad service to my Master.

Okay, no. 6 is extremely worrying.

As of late, I am a new person.
A person with dreams, with hopes, with passion. I did go about in realizing it, but only to a certain extent. The other 80 percent of the change is still in process.

However,
in the midst of the transition, I am lost in my own world. My heart is too attached to some ideology to the extend of wanting changes to happen drastically while my mind says take one step at a time. This, contributes to no. 4 which is making myself tired of thinking with my heart and feeling with my mind.
What more when you have no one who really understands you to confide in and gives you a really direct opinion and say,
'Hasanah, get back down to Earth this instant.'

And so, I fell down from the skies above;
wounded and lonely,
with a stack of notes to worry,
and everything else topsy-turvy.

What a pathetic me.

2010-10-06T01:49:00.000+08:00

IS ON THE VERGE OF GIVING UP.

2010-07-14T16:14:00.007+08:00

Greetings from Kay Elle!
It has been a while, and yes, I am back.

University Life is hectic.
Well, not the one in Singapore of course.
You have to familiarize yourself to a whole new education system. What more when it is in Malay. I repeat, Malay. Not only the education system, but a whole lot more things than that. The environment, the people, the culture, the food, and etc.
Basically, the way of life.

Lemme tell you about the environment.
You have to make do yourself with what is available. You cannot demand for much-much more than what is offered. You have to be thankful, always. Or else, you would not blend in and that would make you stick out like a sore thumb.

Lemme tell you about the people.
You have to smile to whoever you bump into, but not the men. You cannot show your attitude or make any faces. You have to be nice to them, always. Or else, you would not blend in and that would make you stick out like a sore thumb.

Lemme tell you about the culture.
You have to learn their culture from different states as many as you can. You cannot make fun of them in their faces. You have to be modest, always. Or else, you would not blend in and that would make you stick out like a sore thumb.

Lemme tell you about the food.
You have to resist foods that are not halal-ly available in your country. You cannot be choosy or fussy about the food. You have to eat a lot, always. Or else, you would not blend in and that would make you stick out like a sore thumb.

That is basically it.
The sad thing is, it is not Islamic.

2010-05-22T02:16:00.013+08:00

I miss:
Hadi. Blogging. Shopping. Nadiah. Raihanah. Pre-U 2. Idarah. MWTI. Syafiqah. Radhiah. Arab. Blogging. Studying. Ranting. Jafni. Baihaqi. Atikah. Murni. Haryanti. Hidayah. Zahirah. Blogging. Aini. Slacking. Sleeping Late. Late-Night-Calls/Gossips. Tumblr. Laptop. Heart Aches. Skype. Mee Kuah. Blogging. IRAS. Online Shopping. Typing. MSN-ing. Razinah. Nadhirah. Suaibah. Fityan Ghufran. Azam. Blogging. Movie-Reviewing. Window Shopping. iBanking. PSP-ing. Crying. Writing. Spending. Eating. Loving. Blogging. Ma'arif. My Teachers. Sec 4 Green. Rebelling. Nenek-lu. Sastera. General Paper. Geography. English. Blogging. Online Movies. Facebook. Youtube. My Colleagues. Gatherings. Lepak-ing. Fathiah. Siti Amirah. Khairiah. Blogging. Gossiping. Whining. Complaining. Sympathizing. Ego-ing. Emo-ing. Sleeping. Self-reflecting. Everything. Blogging. And Amin.

I miss Blogging.
♥

2010-03-07T00:29:00.007+08:00

I know some who share the same sentiments, but some do not. Those who did not, they share a different one;
sympathy.

I know this is hard to accept, but literally, I am all alone now. Alone wondering what the future holds for me, wondering if I have any - in the first place. Well, all you can say is, don't give up, there is still hope, everything happens for a reason, there's hikmah behind it, it's just a test from Him, so on so forth. I know all that. I remember every single line. I believe in those, too. But as far as I know, I am alone in it, with Him.

You know, you just would not bother. Why? Simply because you have yours to handle with. Right? And damn right you know who you are exactly, all of you. Well, what can I say. I thank you for being part of the play. Thank you.

Please pardon me for having so much angst.

2009-12-27T21:13:00.009+08:00

I do not understand my parents.
No matter how hard I tried to obey them, I still could not understand. Especially father.
Am I not matured enough to understand? Or were they too demanding? Look, if they consider me as an adult, then treat me like one. I know my limits. But well, I do not consider eighteen as an adult. Eighteen is eight + teen = eighteen. So I am still in my teenage years. A teenager is a teenager, alright. A teenager would still be undergoing the process of development from puberty to maturity.
Need I say more?

I do not understand my parents.
No matter how hard I tried to please them, I still could not understand. Especially father.
What more did he want from me? I tried as hard as I could not to rebel, because I know that our parents' blessing is equals to Allah's blessing too. But hey, I dislike being discriminated. Just because I am a girl, it does not mean that I cannot do things like my brother did. I mean, as long as there are limitations. If only he could try to understand me like mother did. Hello dearest father, this is the 21st century.
Need I say more?

Dear parents,
I rot at home doing house chores trying to please you guys, trying to be a good daughter by trying to obey all your orders, by trying not to hurt your feelings, by trying to find a job to at least help pay some bills. All I want from return is your understanding of my wants and needs. I am not asking for any material things, just some understanding, please.

2009-12-03T01:28:00.004+08:00

8 hours ago,
was the end of my last paper.

And now,
I kept thinking and thinking,
what the future holds for me.

Am I going to succeed? Or am I going to fall before succeeding?
Or am I not going to succeed at all?
(Na'uzubillahi min zaalik!)

I know it sounds morbid and depressing,
but I just could not help but having these thoughts.

O Allah,
please help me and my friends go through
whatever we have to go through now.
Ameen.

2009-11-03T23:17:00.006+08:00

I just do not know.
I have yet to be myself. Yet. I just could not bring myself to everything. Things as big and as important. Like A's. Or even going to the toilet. Seriously. It seems that I am just being accustomed to whatever that is happening around me. I am living shallow. Hollow. And I know this is depressing.
But things just went that way.

Myth:
I studied.

Fact:
I slept.

Myth:
I was busy.

Fact:
I slept.

Myth:
I was at school.

Fact.
I slept.

So you see.
Sleeping is my only therapy. I am of no money to make myself happy. I could not find the cause. But this is the effect. I have been searching for the cause but the effect keeps pushing in. I am tired of asking why. And how. But this happens all the time. Maybe I am just being apathetic. Or numb. Or playing dumb.
Or maybe I just do not know at all.

2009-10-28T01:32:00.003+08:00

Whereof what's past is prologue;

-William Shakespeare
in The Tempest

2009-09-28T19:45:00.003+08:00

How shalt thou hope for mercy, rendering none?

-William Shakespeare
in The Merchant of Venice

2009-09-13T02:19:00.003+08:00

I am very thankful
to Allah,
to anak Pak Rahman,
and to whom it may concern.

If it is not for them, especially Him,
I would not be me.

Because I don't believe anymore.

2009-08-16T12:56:00.003+08:00

To whom it may concern:
If you are reading this, please take note that,

I want my 160 back.

2009-08-14T23:49:00.001+08:00

Previously,
I had around 1000 messages in my cell.
What I did?
I deleted 700 of it.

Currently,
I had around 40 best messages in my cell.
What I did?
I can't help but cry.

Why?

'Cause my N79 has to undergo an operation.
Dear 40 best messages, I would miss you all.
Especially J's forever.
)=

2009-08-05T20:08:00.007+08:00

Life currently..

Praise be to Allah.

Had 3 days leave from school last week,
due to some stomach flu.

*

Pre-University life currently..

The only decoration we managed to do.

Wedding of my Economics teacher,
Teacher Zaiton.

One of the supporting teachers,
Sir Ghazali.

Baked brownies for the class.

Our class picture with our former form teacher,
Ustaz Abdul Salam Abdul Hameed.

*

Apples of my eye currently..

Eyntisor Erwan.

Her usual sleeping position.

♥

The naughty kitten.

5 altogether.
And now, they're gone.

*

Activities previously..

Mother dragged me here to meet her,
whom I aspire to be..

Great time with them.
More of this, after November.

The ones I grew up with,
who saw who I really am, back then.

*

I, Hasanah binte Jamaludin,
would like to dedicate to my friends..

To the girls of Pre-University II:
You girls knew me, knew what happened to me,
and you girls comforted me in every way imagined.

You girls cheered me up, made me smile,
and you girls motivated me in every way imagined.

I am very touched by every way
you girls tried to pick me up when I fall.

Nothing could ever describe how thankful I am,
to have such wonderful girls like you girls.

Raihanah, Nadiah, Atikah, Syafiqah,
Radhiah, Murni, Aini,
Zahirah, Hidayah, Haryanti,
(not forgetting Jafni, Zaman, Farhan & Rifdi)

please know that I really treasure our friendship.
I love you girls.
♥

May Allah bless us all.

To my makciks:
Nothing could ever describe our friendship.

Nadhirah & Suaibah,
thank you for always being there for me.
Friends Forever.
♥

To my minahs:
Even though we're far apart,
you minahs will always be in my heart.

Khairiah & Razinah,
I miss you minahs, a lot.
Please meet up soon.
♥

To my Joyah:
This is dedicated specially for you, okay.

You know why you're the first person I called?
Because you are the best lah Joyah!
♥

Lastly, to my Hadidi:
Aku sayang kau many-many, okay.
J's forever!
♥

History,
please don't ever repeat yourself.

*

Thank you Allah,
I am still here, to serve you.

2009-07-25T01:04:00.002+08:00

Praise be to Allah,
I am still alive.
Praise be to Allah,
I am still in one piece.

But I feel like vomiting, again.

Even though
I am still alive,
even though
I am still in one piece,

But my appetite is dead, already.

2009-07-21T23:53:00.010+08:00

Sesuatu yang diimpikan tidak selalu menjadi kenyataan, tetapi sesuatu yang tidak diduga seringkali berlaku dengan tiba-tiba. Biarlah kita menangis kerana kesakitan semalam, tapi usahlah kita ketawa memanjang kerana kemenangan yang belum pasti untuk selamanya.

Tiada 'abid yang ma'sum tanpa dosa,
apatah lagi berjiwa pemuda.

Namun dengan kegagalan bukanlah mengajar erti kekalahan, tetapi mengingatkan kita tentang kemenangan yang masih tertunda. Mungkin hari ini kita kuat dan selesa, tapi tidak mustahil hari esok pula kita rebah hingga tak berdaya.

Semuanya bukan ketentuan kita,
hanya ketentuan Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala jua..

2009-07-04T22:23:00.004+08:00

Hasanah binte Jamaludin
is doing fine.

She's moving on with life;
she cherished her memories,
she treasured her friends.

But what did she get in return?
A broken heart.

2009-06-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

These feelings are hard to ignore.
Tell me, I am not perfect.

2009-05-25T23:57:00.003+08:00

Stay tuned.

2009-04-01T00:05:00.003+08:00

It took me around 40 days to start blogging, again.

*

Hello, Earthlings.
I know that I should actually close down my blog for good, but, actually, I miss blogging. A lot. I just realized that, by typing out my thoughts, it would be a kind of relief for me. Well, I guess most blogger would say that, don't they? No? Never mind.

It is interesting to know that,
I've just watched Confessions of a Shopaholic, alone, after getting many rejections. No, don't get me wrong. I actually enjoyed watching alone, for the fact that I am an avid moviegoer, much less than I am actually a loner. No? Never mind.

It is also interesting to know that,
many things happened, whilst I'm not blogging. For example, my beloved boyfriend the laptop, was admitted to the hospital, to the extent that I put someone else's laptop into the hospital as well. Graceless me. No? Never mind.

It is also interesting to know that,
sister gave birth to Eyntisor, who looks like me when I was a baby. In which, I have to sacrifice my beloved boyfriend the bed, to give way for her and the father and the mother. So nice, but unusual of me, eh. No? Never mind.

It is also interesting to know that,
I finally completed reading a book. Yes, Henrianna Garamond finally completed reading a book! It is not just a book, it is Sandra Brown's! But what's so exciting? It is my first book of the year that's exciting! No? Never mind.

It is also interesting to know that,
I skipped four and a half days of school in two weeks. Reason: I am unfit for school. Real reason: 'I just couldn't bring myself to it, because I don't really feel like it.' That gave me a negative impression already. No? Never mind.

It is also interesting to know that,
I have turned a year older, which makes me legally responsible for anything that I am doing, or going to do. And I hope that I have thanked each and every one of those who made an effort to actually remember it, or do something about it. Thank you. And to those who did not make any effort to do so, I thank you more.

Sincerely.

*

That is your long awaited post, which bore you out.

2009-02-19T19:48:00.000+08:00

There's a hole in my heart.
How big? You decide.

2009-01-07T20:57:00.010+08:00

Everyone's been updating,
except for me.

Oh well, greetings my Earthlings.

Zikral Hijrah 1430 versus 2009.
I wonder, why would people celebrate the withering of the Earth? Are they not aware that the world is already old? 9 million bucks of our parents' hard-earned money spent on fireworks, isn't it a wastage? Reality check: the Day of Judgement is nearing, Earthlings. Let us open up a new book and start writing in it with anything good. Continue to write in it everything good. And let us hope that our story would end with something good.

Speaking of something good,
watching movies make me feel good. I remembered blogging about wanting to watch 29 movies last year. The verdict: I exceeded by 5 movies. I would be more than happy to state down all the movies watched, but then.. It would just be a waste of time. Who would bother about it, right? But this year, I have to cut down my consumption on movies. Why, you may ask? 'Cause I have been given a lot of responsibilities.

Speaking of responsibilities,
it is sometimes hard to accept the fact that I am now a Pre-University II student. Which means, more responsibilities. Being a student, as well as few other roles, is not what it may seem to be as 'easy'. It is more difficult than I thought. What more with catching datelines here and there; the pressure is at the maximum level. Coping with life mustn't be a procrastinating one. Else, there would be major consequences.

Speaking of life,
holidays are well-spent with loved ones. Memories created, experiences gained. Thank you to those who contributed to the memories. May God bless you Earthlings. And I guess, it's time to have a little change. Family changes, environment changes, friends changes, me? I will change too, towards the better, by His Will. I realized that things shouldn't be perfect all the time. By being organized, I wouldn't be agonized.

Surveys (or whatever you call it).
Will be doing that, when boredom strikes.

Pardon me, Earthlings.

2008-12-14T00:02:00.007+08:00

Deep inside,
I know I am strong.

But no matter how strong I am, I still have to face the hurting fact. And that hurting fact is, I am not strong enough without my pillars. I need them, I need those pillars to support me, to get myself through life.

*

I have always believed that I am strong.
I am a lady of steel. I can withstand tough terrains and harsh climates. I can conquer Mount Everest and the Pacific Ocean. But I know, those are beyond my imagination. It was just a feeling to fake myself, to make me believe in lies, just to get myself through the hard times. And now, the feeling that I believed in, slowly fade away, revealing my true, weak self; a mere teenager.
I have always believed that I am strong.

I am not strong.
I am just a mere teenager that has so much angst in me.
A teenager that is weak at heart and has internal conflicts of no end. A teenager that thinks too much and wonders why the world is a place of no peace. A teenager that has yet to learn the real meaning of life, that needs those pillars for support, for guidance, for me to really believe that I am strong, deep down inside.
I am not strong.

*

But it doesn't matter if I am no longer strong. I just have to make my way through life without being dependent to those pillars, which I know I can do it. Moreover, I am gonna be alone in
my own grave, later.

Deep inside,
I know I am strong.

2008-12-12T21:19:00.001+08:00

Oh,
lemme sum up everything when I feel like it.
(:

2008-11-21T22:14:00.004+08:00

Hello earthlings!
I'm back from the valley of regrets. Initially, I'm at loss of words. But thinking that the stories couldn't wait to get outta my head, I brought myself to blog, again. So here I am, where my fingers dance, trying to buy time thinking of the right words.

Two.
Two pills swallowed the other day due to a severe period cramp. It was so hurtful that I cried in pain the whole morning to afternoon to evening. And that, totally exhausted me. I couldn't stand the pain no more that made me took the initiative of taking pills. I never thought that I could really make it through with the swallowing. But finally, for the x years of my conscious life, I swallowed two pills to ease the pain. Two pills, t-w-o.

Alone.
I watched a movie, alone. Just me and my handphone. And oh, with brother as the projectionist somewhere in the cinema? He's the one who gave me two free tickets at the very last minute. It was already late and nobody's accompanying, hence, the lonely part. I've never ever entered a cinema alone, what more the movie's a horror genre. It was the very first experience but maybe not the last? Shall do it more often, eh? Sounds cool.

Results.
Seems like nearly everyone rambles about his or her results. I shall not describe mine then. It was too horrible to even know about it, especially the Economics part. Nonetheless, I am thankful enough for what He alredy gave me. Those were the reflection of my own effort of much procrastinating. And please, do remind me to start revising on the Economics retest late December. Awful, huh?

Holiday.
I wanna bury myself in books, notes and revisions. Alternately, busy myself with PlayStation Portable, iPod nano, and N79. Sometimes, I do not wish to own these stuffs. But to think that I am a normal being with wants as a teenager (which I hate to admit), it seems hard to refrain from wanting and having these junks easily. Why? Why is it so hard to solely serve Him as His loyal servant? Why?

Everything is just a worldly matter, earthlings.

2008-11-13T23:22:00.002+08:00

Two things;
pills and a movie, alone.

Stay tuned.

Away for the holidays. Please leave a message on the tagboard.
Will be back on 19/11/08.

2008-11-05T22:56:00.010+08:00

Urgh.
Higher Mother Tongue was a total disaster. This thing of
not reading the question carefully really makes me dumb. I felt like a total washout. Like, seriously. This whole thing was a fiasco! (Learnt that word somewhere.. in a television programme?)

I don't even know what I should say to myself.

Like, "Oh, nevermind. You can still retake next year."

Or, "Hey, cheer up! Holiday's nearing, why the thought of
crying over spilled milk? Have ~~fun!~~"

Or worst still, "Stop thinking you're dumb when actually you're more than that; stupid!"

Is that it?
Is that what I'm gonna say to myself? For goodness sake,
it's my own mother tongue!

2008-10-28T20:17:00.006+08:00

I am still procrastinating;
despite anything in the world, still am not studying. I just don't feel like it. Call me crazy, that's what I am exactly.
I'm not sure myself..

I mean,
those little voices in my head, those hopes held tight in my heart, those ambitions hovering above me; these internal conflicts are making me crazy! Movies in the middle of an important examination week, not putting my heart into it, just being stupidly lazy, what is becoming of me?!
I just don't know..

*

How I wish,
I could mourn over Jamie Sullivan's death. How I wish, I could drool over Shane West. How I really wish, I could watch it with someone.. A Walk to Remember, couldn't get over it,
just can't.

I think,
mother still thought that I watched pornography alone in the dark, within the comforts of my room, but caught me crying, ~~badly.~~

Ahh..
I just feel like screaming on top of the world, telling people how
I truly appreciate that little feeling, that little feeling which is really unfathomable.. A Walk to Remember,
love, life, faith.

A Walk to Remember..
♥

2008-10-11T22:17:00.010+08:00

Blog's been fasting, pardon me.
It has gone through exhaustion with words, words, and words being stuffed into it. And so, whether I noticed or did not, September has ended.

Meaning,
the festive season for Muslims celebrating their victory has come, for those who managed to fast, ONLY. I am more than happy to emphasize on that particular word. Don't ask me why, you know yourselves. Speaking of which, I hope this one habit of mine would be gone forever; dousing in perfumes.

Meaning,
October has come to vividly remind me of those upcoming sheets that have to be written on, to determine whether I am stupid, or not. Looking at the next-door classmates which most of them are smart-witted, really scares me off. I shoud be afraid. Pre-University level is unlike Kindergarten level, dear me.
So, I should be afraid.

Meaning,
I have to spend more time studying than typing these very words. Oh well, I just have to give up something to gain something, right? Someone told me that once, and finally, it made sense to me now. Not forgetting that I have successfully created an analogy on how thumbdrives can cause viruses, which totally make sense (especially to guys).

And people of the Earth,

please tag and keep tagging words asking me to stop procrastinating, pretty please? I hope your precious words would work out on me this time. Oh, I don't mind it harsh or gentle or flowery, just tag.

2008-09-18T20:23:00.007+08:00

Woah!
What a dusty blog I have here. It's been long, eh? Well, let's read some updates from the girl who gave a speech about frogs,
shall we?

Firstly,

it's Ramadhan, people. Ramadhan gives me the feeling of..
Doing something right and avoid - at all circumstances - of doing any bad deeds. But it seems that my level of Imaan has yet to be improved, and I mean a lot. Who doesn't, right? But anyway, I think I've been doing great achieving my goal specially for this Ramadhan. I've been wearing modest clothings even if I'm wearing denim pants. But most importantly, I did not even wear any perfumes for that matter.

Secondly,
Ramadhan should actually prevent people from spendthrifting. But for my case, I think it is an okay for me to buy two pairs of shoes, a pair of sandals, a bag and a watch. And those, are exactly the things that I bought. Well, not actually me, but father bought it for me. So you see, the shoes that I've been wearing has already worn out, inside out. Mind you, I've been wearing it for exactly two years! How could you possibly survive with a worn out shoe, right? But all in all, I daresay that everything I own have been used optimally. And for some cases, more than the optimum point of usage. See, how I fully utilised my belongings.

Thirdly,
there are a few economic terms used in the third paragraph, if you noticed. Speaking of which, my case study on housing prices, sucks. But nonetheless, I am happy to know that I am starting to understand current issues better, thanks to Economics and General Paper. The only thing I need to improve on is nothing else but, procrastinating. Now you see the problem with me? I am unlike some others which have gotten their work done,
eh Rhy?

Lastly,
to make things clear: I admit, on this day, at this point of time;

Yes, I am a perfectionist.
I am a person who is displeased with anything that is not perfect or does not meet high standards. So, dear programmers, I am sorry to tell you that, I am especially the cause of all shortcomings, inadequacies, deficiencies, and all those yelling and shouting at the participants just 'cause things doesn't meet my expectations. And with this, I apologise. But please, do not mistook me by being vain. I am not vain, but I adore perfection.

Long enough for you to fall asleep?
Anyways, I am already eighteen on the 12th of Ramadhan, according to the Islamic Calendar. Therefore, I need to grow up but I don't drink Grow. I need to wake up 'cause September's ending, soon.

2008-08-27T21:38:00.004+08:00

I miss blogging out of a sudden.
Thoughts running wild, flowing rapidly (but not pollutedly like some river I've learnt about during General Paper lesson), gushing to reach the delta, fast. But of course, during the third course of a river, the water ain't gushing. Well, at least I am keen to blog.
For now, that is.

I never thought
that a simple ideology of a teacher can actually make you think profoundly. And subconsciously, leave an impact to your mind. You will then keep thinking of it, and then bit by bit, the ideology would eat up your mind. The result is, you would believe in everything your teacher have said and being supportive of his or her ideology, without actually doing a research.

This,
sometimes, makes me confused. And therefore, I actually couldn't wait to do some serious research on political terms. And oh, I actually paid attention for the whole, say, two and a half hours of General Paper? Gosh, I am being myself back! Speaking of which, the class have been super slacking lately. And I really mean super slacking. Not just slacking slacking, but super slacking.
You get what I mean?

Nonetheless,
had fun these few days of being home alone. Class of four getting hilarious each day. What more with having a whole of six periods, free, yesterday. Cool, huh? But anyway, this year seems to be a year of changes for me. Came home from school today to receive yet another shocking news. Oh well, shall not talk about it just yet. Hope things would run smoothly, with God's will.

2008-08-08T21:02:00.004+08:00

I wonder.
Updating can sometimes be a burden. Sometimes. It is during the time when you have so many things to do yet so little time that people would start bugging you to update. The fact that I am a big time procrastinator, not just a blog that has yet to be updated, mind you, but a whole lot more than that. I wonder, where did the well-motivated me gone to?

The toilet.

2008-07-27T19:08:00.005+08:00

I am suffering from deprivation.

I was roaming through CityLink Mall yesterday when all I ever see was, but sales. It made my thoughts flow like a river as I was alone. And those thoughts did not have mercy on me. They were cussing everytime I pass by a shop. Well, not literally. But watching all those sales going on and people holding on to a dozen of paper bags or plastic bags and whatnots made me on the verge of screaming.

Why?

Because I am deprived!
Shopping is my therapy. Need I say more?

2008-07-20T22:43:00.008+08:00

The worst cramp ever.
Thank you to those who helped in any way. Words just could not describe how much I appreciate it.

*

After one is another, thanks to Ned.
But anyway, ten random facts about myself would be boring enough to some of you.

One.
Change is a contempt to me. In fact, hatred is the very right word to describe my feeling towards it.

Two.
I have an ego as high as a 99-storey building. Wanna try me?

Three.
Likes to observe just about anything and everything.

Four.
I think too much, credits for being a great observer.

Five.
Half of both environmentalist and economist.

Six.
I bottle up my feelings, most of the time.

Seven.
I kinda have.. a conservative side.

Eight.
Say, I am a bit.. reserved?

Nine.
I want my cats back.

Ten.
I bore you out.

*

2008-07-09T22:37:00.003+08:00

Thanks to Rhy.
Something to distract myself.

1. What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
You know, I know.

2. Do you ever turned your cell phone off?
Yup.

3. What happened at 10AM today?
Had Econs lesson on.. Factor Supply?

4. When did you last cry?
Yesternight.

5. What's your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
I don't eat peanut butter.

6. What do you want in your life right now?
What it has to offer.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
Erm, none of both.

8. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
A book.

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
Black.

10. What's the nicest text in your inbox says?
Bihubbillah.

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
The tendency of a relationship being complicated is because of my ego.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Nope.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Hancock.

14. What are you proud of?
Everything? Or, nothing?

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox says?
Sweet dreams?

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Can't remember.

17. Do you have any nicknames? What are they?
If I say no, I wouldn't have to list it down, do I?

18. What does your last received text message says? Who was it from?
It's something about some usrah sent by Sis Aishah.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
Around 2300 hours?

20. Are you currently happy?
A portion.

21. Who gives you the best advice?
Bestfriends.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Never did.

23. Who did you talk to on phone last night?
You know, I know.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Yup, sure do.

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Zahirah.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
Used to.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
You know, I know.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Quite a few times literally, yeah.

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Depends.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Nope.

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
Never.

32. What colour is your room?
White.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
Nope.

34. Do you believe in the saying 'talk in cheap'?
Sorry? Did you mean 'talking cheap'?

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
Myself.

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
Uh?

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
Huh?

38. Do you have a life?
I do.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
Maybe, yeah.

40. What's the reason behind your profile song?
Don't have any.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dreams?
Can't remember.

42. Last time you smiled?
Evening.

43. Have you changed this year?
A lot.

44. What are you listening to right now?
Brother's War Craft.

45. Are you talking to someone when you are doing this?
On the earlier bit, yes.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
I can see while walking.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Not really.

48. Do you want someone you can't have?
Nope.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Never do.

50. What was the worst idea you've had in weeks?
Rob a bank?

51. What were you doing last night at 11PM?
Dozing off.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
Urm?

53. What song describes your love life?
A song from Hijjaz.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
Can I not answer?

55. Who always makes you laugh?
Classmates.

56. Do you speak other languages rather than English?
Uhuh.

57. Are you blond?
Nope.

58. What's your surname's name?
Can I say, Jamesludin?

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
To school.

60. What do you think you are like?
Not sure.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
Alone.

62. Where have you been today?
School.

63. What game do you play often?
A game of sleep?

64. Who are you missing right now?
You know, I know. Them. S4G'07.

65. If you have to choose between friends and love, who will you choose?
Can I have both, please?

66. What are you doing right now?
This survey?

67. Which primary school are you from?
Al-Ma'arif.

68. What are the 3 colours you like?
Black, Red and..

69. What are you longing for?
Food!

70. What is life to you?
Being a Khalifah.

71. If you have something troubling you, what would you do?
Du'a.

72. Who did you last chat in MSN today?
You know, I know.

73. Which model of phone do you use?
Haha.

74. Which month are you born in?
March.

75. How are you feeling right now?
Just fine.

76. What is the time now?
2330 hours.

77. Where are you now?
Comfort zone.

78. What colour did you use to dye your hair?
None.

79. Why are you doing this survey?
Because of.. Rhy?

80. What do you do when you're moody?
Cry.

81. At which age you wish to get married?
Financially stable, after 23.

82. Who is more important to you? Boyfriend/Girlfriend or friends?
Friends?

83. Do you think you have enough confidence?
In sya'Allah.

84. Who do you trust the most?
The Almighty.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
Inna ma'al usri yusra.

86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
UM - NIE.

87. What is your goal for this year?
Hifz Al-Qur'an.

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
Allah's love.

89. What feeling do you love most?
serene.

90. Do you really think it's Global Warming right now?
Even in the night? Oh, yeah.

91. What feeling do you hate most?
Malaised.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yup.

93. Do you believe in God?
I have faith.

94. Who cares for you the most?
Parents?

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Thing? Watch, I guess.

96. What would you bring with when you fight?
Fight?!

97. Happened to feel there's someone waiting to love you?
Is there?

98. What would you feel if nobody no longer cares for you?
Allah does.

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
Stead? Two-timed? Like before?

100. Who always gets your back?
Anyone who needs it.

*

2008-07-02T22:31:00.005+08:00

Everything's a spur.
I am lost in my own agenda, struggling to get my way through. How I wish money can grow on trees. Guess I have so much angst in me. Been bathing with cold water lately. These shows that
I am not at ease.

It's been long..

2008-06-23T22:51:00.002+08:00

I am officially tanned.
The face was not that obvious though, but the hands. My, what a difference! And thanks to those who noticed it, immediately. Oh, have I told you that I miss fine dining? Appetite's getting bigger. Maybe this is what you call an aftermath for an upset stomach. More to rioting I should say.

Speaking of which,
many people commented that I look thinner and thinner each day. Mind you, I am not anorexic. I have a big appetite, if you wish to know. Or else I wouldn't be called a food bin for no reason at all, right? But for the time being, I need a Swensen's treat, fast. Or Ben & Jerry's for a temporary substitute. Anyone up for it?

Swensen's Love.

2008-06-08T22:43:00.007+08:00

It feels like heaven to have my fingers dancing on the keyboard.

Lemme start with today.
Since most blogs which I've read gabbed about their activities during holidays, so I would do the same. Not that I wanted so much to be cliché, but life's a trite. Oh well, I boarded the Singapore Flyer. Guess will keep the comment to myself? Let the pictures talk, later.

To tell you the truth,
I was not being myself. Since entering the new school, I have been such a hypocrite. You can say that I am a coward for not showing my true self, but I just could not help it. I keep comparing this and that, that and this without end. I know that from this path onwards, I am on my own without those around me who really knew me inside out. 'Cause there are many barriers for me to reveal the true colours, actually. School to me is a place where you have fun studying and those things associated to it, like friends? Not to be vain, to be in vain or to act vainly, not just in appearance, qualities, abilities or even achievements. It would just make others feel inferior of themselves, as if they are those mediocres roaming the school with no life. Hell, I felt exactly that. Maybe I am so used to be what I used to be before, that the feeling was a bit overwhelmed. But I have tried to put that aside and be optimistic, looking at the bright side, or however you sort it, but the power of vanity just.. Or you can simply conclude that I overrated it,
the end.

I know people find this blog a total bore as I rant no other than erstwhile. Like as if nobody ever had had any insecurities before, urgh. And oh, I am being myself back 'cause I complained and commented on something, the least.

Where in the world can I find an instant 300 bucks?

2008-06-07T16:37:00.002+08:00

Apparently,
I have so many things to blog about. Yet I am a lady of a few words. Even now, I do not know where to start. Many things happened, many mistakes learnt, many experiences gained.

Oh, I shall update later.
3 Days.

2008-05-16T00:43:00.010+08:00

Mereka bilang kau tak punya apa-apa,
Namun bagiku engkaulah kisah silamku,
Cerita lama kisah suka dan duka bersamamu..
♥

I miss all the good things in life;
♥

2008-05-09T21:58:00.005+08:00

I was tagged.

And I realized that it has been long since I did surveys, or whatever you call it. And so here it goes, specially for my naughty little sister.

Tralalalala~
1. What would you be more focused on most of the time?
Thinking.

2. What do you want the most now?
Everything.

3. Who do you trust the most?
The Almighty.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
In sya'Allah.

5. If you want a dream to come true, what would it be?
UM - NIE.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Inna ma'al usri yusra.

7. What is your goal for this year?
Hifz Al-Qur'an.

8. Do you believe in love?
Yes.

9. What feeling do you like the most?
serene.

10. What are the requirements that you wish from a friend?
Just be yourself.

11. What feeling do you hate the most?
Malaised.

12. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yup.

13. Do you believe in God?
I have faith.

14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Thing? Watch, I guess.

15. Who do you hope to always be there for you?
The Most Gracious.

16. Who is your best friend?
Site & Nadh

17. Who cares for you the most?
Parents?

18. Do you think love is stupid?
Stupid cupid.

19. Who do you hate the most now?
Nobody.

20. Why are you doing this while you are supposed to be studying?
Am I supposed to be studying?

*

2008-05-04T22:46:00.008+08:00

Oh, I decided to blog.

Just got down from a roller coaster ride. Been experiencing the ups and downs of life, causing me to put serene aside, for a while. Right, for a while. Okay, here it goes.

I have learnt a few things - sometimes we just have to let go and let nature take its course. It would be of no use forcing as it would only make things complicated. Self-motivation doesn't need to be searched; it needs to be generated. Changes are normal. It is not normal when we have to accept it and overcome it. He has been testing me all these while without my knowing. And I think I went through it badly.

On a lighter note, I'm left with hours to study. Slacking can be considered healthy, too. But you have to experience the adrenaline rush when examinations are nearing. If you'd ask me, I prefer the latter. It has always been my style as it works best for me. Oh, I so love the adrenaline rush! Can't wait, really.

♥Pizza Monshter.

2008-04-20T22:52:00.004+08:00

Bahhh!

For the fact that maybe I might forget my responsibility as a daughter, I am sorry dear Mother. I don't know where did my patience fly to. Oh, maybe she's stuck in America for all I know. Fetching is a tough job though. Oh well, nonsense. The fact that I had Coffee Bean and Starbucks in a week made me already addictive. Minus the fact that I am in denial of upcoming tests. Friends seem so far away, changed and drifting apart.. I couldn't say much. Maybe I should just hold on with what I have right now, right? God, I know I am strong. For goodness sake,
I AM STRONG!

Respect.

2008-04-18T18:25:00.002+08:00

I am torn between two numbers, again.
That is all. Sorry.

2008-04-10T22:01:00.008+08:00

My tears are so cheap today.
Have you ever had this feeling of oh-ever-so-lonely kind of feeling? Gosh, it's killing me. I am totally annoyed with tears and mucus rolling down my face like there's no tomorrow. I read blogs and that's it! That's it, I had enough. Enough. More than I hate to type it, ~~I miss my friends~~. Well, who doesn't, right? But this feeling is just.. super duper strong, I guess that I can collect a bucket full of salty pearls by now. How many times need I remind myself to; withstand, endure, adapt, and
to just shut up and go on with life.

2008-04-08T04:37:00.009+08:00

I am experiencing life without cell phone.

I think it is great, somehow.

Let me tell you something.

I passed by the lane of memories the other day. It was just a lane, like any other lanes there. But the impact was too great for me to contain. And so, I simply cried. I cried, reminiscing those times when I was just a mere primary school kid. Nine years had gone and that particular building, that particular building which have been demolished completely, witnessed my every step. The cats, the trees, the containers, the chairs, the tables.. Oh my. I miss that building; every corner of it. How can I possibly not?

Nine years! And now, ~~demolished.~~

Madrasah Al-Ma'arif Al-Islamiah

14, Ipoh Lane

And why, you may ask, am I blogging in the wee hours?

I don't know myself.

2008-03-29T23:14:00.005+08:00

Spare me a new battery life, please.

Although being seven~~teen~~ ain't that sweet, I would like to thank those who put in effort to wish me either through SMS or whatever mean there is. And, I am sorry for not replying to your messages or returning your calls as I am proud to announce that

I CAN'T REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES OR

MAKE ANY OUTGOING CALLS,
thank you.

Once again, I am a step closer to death.

'Watch' the time..

2008-03-27T23:48:00.004+08:00

Spare me a new battery life, please.

I can never get things done. Big time procrastinator. Why oh why? Put some sense in me someone? Or a bullet in my head. And yeah, my dad would be furious. Owe him an essay. So much for his daughter. Can't blame me if you aren't computer savvy. Thanks to Hadi, I'm listening to Britney. For goodness sake, Britney?!

Can I cry?

2008-03-22T23:20:00.003+08:00

Spare me a new battery life, please.

And suddenly, the world crashed on me. I'm feeling ever so lonely. And, I'm at my lowest. Oh, this melancholic feeling. Oh Almighty, please help me. I want my life back, I want me. I just want myself, please give it back to me. And now, after so long, after so long, you know there's a difference, a difference. How great.

Behind you.

2008-03-15T00:35:00.012+08:00

Greetings from VGN-CR22G, in the comforts of my own room.

What a day. Luck wasn't with me. To think that people wouldn't care anymore, guess I'm wrong. The society is still concern about socialism and all. And yeah, was totally flushed. I'd rather flush my head in the toilet bowl. Whoosh~
There you go.

Homeworks undone. Projects on hold. What more what more?

If pre-university life will continue going on like this, I HAVE TO; cut down my consumation on.. whatever. The prime value is to be more hardworking than ever. And that reminds me of,

NOTES.

New found jealousy.

2008-03-04T23:51:00.003+08:00

Prominent eye bags.
All thanks to school. I can't imagine staying there for like another year and nine months? You can have two babies in that period of time. What more in a reducing amount of people in class. But both are my positive irritants, if you get what I mean. I still have more to endure with that bloody brat. Go on provoking me.

Subsequently I have a thousand and one things to blog about school, but I guess I shan't. School is forever a school. Externalities are getting me turning around a hundred-and-eighty degrees for all I know. It is after all, involving the most dreadful thing on Earth; mathematics. But, whatever. I can means I can. I can does not mean I cannot, right? This post is F.O.N.

Your perfectionist.

2008-02-27T23:44:00.004+08:00

Thank you Allah, I am still alive.
To tell you the truth, enduring is a tough job. What more adapting. But a thing for sure,

NO MATHEMATICS!

Pre-University One; check your mail!
Pray hard.

2008-02-15T22:16:00.003+08:00

I am enduring.
Trying my best. To be the best.

Apparently, my brother is like a Godzilla 'cause he has a super duper big tummy. He is only twenty-five but he looks like thirty-five with four kids. My class consists of pathetically four people, only. And for two days straight, I was the only girl in class. I received a letter the other day and was being considered for the Diploma in Mother Tongue Language Teaching Scheme Programme which the intake for this year is very little. Consider myself lucky and unlucky. Subsequently, my first day of school sucks as the pressure is already there. Plus the part that I am totally a ~~loner~~.

I am beginning to like Economics, I think.

2008-02-12T23:15:00.000+08:00

My brother is like a Godzilla; I am in a class of only 4 people; I am being considered for Diploma in Mother Tongue Language Teaching Scheme Programme; my first day of school sucks.

I am so random.
So much of random that I can't take random in.
I am worrying myself, too.

My first day of school sucks; I am being considered for Diploma in Mother Tongue Language Teaching Scheme Programme; I am in a class of only 4 people; my brother is like a Godzilla.

2008-01-31T09:25:00.001+08:00

My cats.
I miss my cats. And fishes too.

I want to watch at least 29 movies this year.
With anyone, at any moment, at any cinemas in Singapore.

Good luck!

2008-01-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

Antara dua..

Results are out, at last!
Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for whatever my result is.
It's the mirror to my own effort. Eventhough I don't quite expect it and it didn't really came out how I wanted it to be, nothing could change it. Right people?

And I swear that I cried NOT because of my result, but I don't know where to pursue. I mean, I've planned out clearly what I wanted to be in, say, 10 years time? Yes, I have an ambition since little. But, the problem is, which institution? This or that? That or this? It seems that I am really fickle, huh. I just couldn't make up my mind. Polytechnic is totally out of the picture. Not at all my passion. And I can cry just by thinking about it!
Where oh where~

I guess this is the Post-Result-Depression.
You know, like those Post-Natal-Depression mothers usually experience.
-_-"

2008-01-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

Seems like everyone's been asking me to update.
Oh well.

Life's been like this.
As if you know how 'like this' looks like or something. Quitted my job, literally. Taking up my passion right now.
Still learning, living with it and loving it.

I just need something new and refreshing in life. Not the old humdrum routine all over again. I've more than enough time to think, I think. But I think my mind's been super duper fickle.
F.I.C.K.L.E.

2008-01-16T02:01:00.000+08:00

I AM PRETENDING;

not to see
&
not to hear

anything yesterday. Period.

2007-12-31T21:26:00.000+08:00

Tell me where to pursue?
Hrmmmph.

I am totally confused.
Can someone talk some sense into me? Like, I just don't know. Seriously. Some say this, some say that. I chose not to listen to the negative comments, discouragement and stuffs. But they just kept haunting me and made my self-confidence fly to nowhere. Oh, please come back. I dislike making decisions. Now, you can call me fickle, just like- (even Nadhirah has made her decision, I think). Sighs.

I don't even understand what I'm talking about.
But, never mind that. I wanted to tell you a story about my colleague. The funny thing he did was, he wore a white Liverpool polo shirt on the day that football club lost to Manchester United. I nearly burst out laughing in front of him.
What a gag!

2007-12-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

How can a tin of Coke be so tempting?

When you're almost exhausted after standing for long hours picking up and arranging some, some.. trays and porcelain containers? Well, that's work for me. My energy consuming work with aching legs, arms and joints. I can't complaint, can I? What choice do I have? After all, the least that I can do is to be thankful to Him, 'cause He gave me the job. It's something rather than nothing (rotting at home, penniless), right?

So, stop whining, Hazzie!

2007-12-03T00:34:00.000+08:00

All emotions hurled up in me;
wanting to be known, waiting to be out.

Spending quality time alone made me realize that, everything happens for a reason. And whatever the reasons may be, it's beyond our imagination. All we can do is to cling on the only hope that is there for us, even if the future brings us grief.

It's about self-control.

2007-11-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

Let this be a long but stupid post.

My teeth hurts.
And I wish I could kill the dentist that cleaned it because he made it hurt, because he dared to chit chat while cleaning until it hurts, because he made me open my mouth so big with his soothing voice, because he made me stare at his beautiful eyes, because he made me embarrassed, but actually.. because he is young and handsome.

Blog's lack of pixies, eh?
Oh well, just sick and tired of it. What more with the new oh-so-magic camera. Not forgetting the sending part and the editing part and the uploading part and the part part part. Yeah, that's about it. But a picture speaks a thousand words. I believe in that.

O's over, so what?
As if I could work. Urgh. Job hunted anyway. Interview's tomorrow. Butterflies in the stomach. Why butterflies, eh? Why can't it be dinosaurs or cheetahs or bears or.. Whatever. I've told you it's gonna be stupid. I'm childish and I'm a pessimist. At least that is what he said. Look, I know myself inside out more than anybody else, so why should I care?

But after all,
I need to GROW UP.

2007-11-11T01:56:00.000+08:00

Bla bla bla bla.
Later.

2007-10-26T02:17:00.001+08:00

No Raya.
Don't apologize to me, say sorry to Him.
(:

2007-10-08T00:45:00.000+08:00

I was so caught up in a book that I neglect this oh-so-not-dead blog.
~~And um, studies too.~~ Bleah.

I'm so in love. ♥

With Stephenie Meyer's books. (And of course, with you too)
Thanks to Norule and Site, for I've begun to fantasize Edward and neglecting everything.

*

People,
please remind me that I really need to study for my O's that is like, 8 days more?
Gosh, I seriously need to study like crazy. (Apparently, I do not understand why people use the term 'mugging'? Can someone please explain it to me?) Despite the ridiculous comeback of my Preliminary Examination, the results were not that satisfying. And I really mean it. Imagine an F9 for Mathematics? How stupid is that! Feel like strangling myself to death, or I'd rather be bitten by a Vampire.

2007-09-23T22:36:00.000+08:00

12 Ramadhan 1428.

Sour Seventeen?
Haha.

2007-09-20T01:36:00.000+08:00

Down with a fever. Hot with a cold.
(If you get what I mean).
And here I am.
Once again, torn into pieces.

I've yet to be patient.
I thought this Ramadhan would bring me a peace of mind and that the serenity would last long. How fortunate I am to be tested once again. After all, that is what Ramadhan is about, right?

Patience and endurance.
Vital, vital.

Reflection is in progress. Yes, it's about life and destiny. But no, I'm not regretting anything. Getting on, mending here and there, forgiving and forgetting, I hope. Apparently, I would never be out of hope. I am and would always be hoping and hoping,
'cause I have faith. I have faith in everything. I have faith in hoping that you would always be there for me.
I hope.

I miss you.
And I hope you'd feel the same way too.
I hope.

2007-09-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

On hiatus? You wish!
Just plain lazy.

Gosh, missed it though. Anyway, changed the layout.
Again, best viewed in Mozilla.
Serene? That's what I'm feeling now.

I've been on a roller coaster ride last August. Emotions went up and down on the bumpy ride. What more with Preliminaries and Syahadah. Man, what a bliss! It was a sense of satisfaction for completing it. Now I'm only left with a few subjects to brush up and improve in areas of my weaknesses. Can't wait for O's, really. 43 more days to go..!

Bumped into Ustaz J. few days ago.
To think that he'd forgotten my name, proved me wrong. I know I was on the run, but Fityan.. I just couldn't find my place there. Pretty much to catch up though. I'll see about it. People do change, you see. I wasn't there to support their development, what more to experience it. The best that I can do is to pray from afar..

Walking down memory lane..
10 years in the same school sometimes makes me feel impatient to leave it, but at times, emotional thinking about it. Too many bittersweet memories to be cherished and friends to be treasured. I don't know how I would survive without them by my side. They made up one-third of my life, you see. Yes, we fought and misunderstood each other but all along, we're still friends. And, it's not too early to think about it. After all, I'll have to go through it one day. It'd be hard on me, though.

Ben & Jerry's, here I come!

2007-08-16T23:17:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my whole sixteen years of life,

I SWALLOWED 2 PILLS OF VITAMIN.

Adrenaline rush!
I just need some adrenaline rush. My goodness, what's happening to me? I've never ever swallowed even the smallest, tiniest pill, but today, mum forced me to consume that !@#$%^&* vitamin formulated by some doctor named RECKWEG.
Yucks!

And oh, have I ever told you that I despise plagiarizers?

2007-08-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

I hate to do this, but in order to clarify things, I must.

My fellowship of humankind,
it is clear that we are imperfect; we have our own history and mistakes. Walking away or running away or even crawling away from things might be seen as the safest route to escape from problems.
But alas! Things won't be the way it is if we don't settle it right away.
One major mistake we did was,

we tend to keep things to ourselves and not letting it out,
because we feel that we would cause dismal,
or we just fear the thought of dejection and the cold shoulder we would get.
after time, it would eat our hearts out
when we already feel the pain and anger to contain it,
we either pretend,
walk away or run away or crawl away,
or erupt the magma inside us.
when either of these things happens,
we tend to listen to other parties,
or just ignore it as if nothing happened.
and hence, a major disruption could occur.

Therefore my fellowship of humankind, I, Hasanah.J,
as the Mini-stress of the Environment and Water Resources,
would like to apologize for my wrong doings, my harsh words, my ignorance, my cold shoulders, my penetrating stares, my irritating attitude that have caused annoyance and ear aches, my selfishness at the market, and anything and everything under the Sun, the Moon and the Stars, not forgetting Planet Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, to the Mini-stress of Youth and Sports Development, Mini-stress of Defence, Mini-stress of Education, Mini-stress of Finance and Mini-stress of Foreign Affairs.
Period.

2007-07-29T22:38:00.000+08:00

Hello people.

Okay, I don't know where to start. Everything's mixed up.
Oh well. Preliminary Examination's less than two weeks. I've did nothing so far. I'm really up for an examination suicide, try me. But of course, I would do my best after long hours of revising, duhh. Uh, whatever. What I need the most is my banana fritter, don't you get it? Hrmmphs. And oh, I just viewed her Friendster. Tell me to stop.

As for school, forget about it. Full of hypocrisy and narrow minds. I just need to convince myself to stay there for another two years. I will survive. The point is, I just have to give my all in that stupid O's. And by the way, I've decided that what's past is past. There'll be no more history section in my blog. Feel kinda odd though, but, whatever.
I'll start afresh.

To whom it may concern, read this carefully.
I think it's not wrong to say that I seldom displease nor find fault with anyone. Neither am I an angel. But don't ever test my patience with your nonsensical attitude. C'mon, we're friends. We should know each other well. And I think I knew you too well to judge you. Stop paying lips services as a mean of manipulation, girl. I had enough of it. You got the wrong idea, you just misunderstood everyone. I hate to put the blame on you, but it is clear that you're trying to run away from it. Perhaps part of it was my fault, but hey, need I be the peacemaker over and over again? Need I be the one who start it when you're the one who should? You need a reality check, girl. You've been up there too long to know what's happening actually. Open your eyes and observe. Yes, a friend doesn't leave their friends alone. But look, you're putting yourself in isolation. Sooner or later, this thing must be settled. Just remember that I am still your friend. I'll be there if you need me. Ponder upon it.

Anyone up for Cheesy Bites?

2007-07-21T23:26:00.000+08:00

Hello world.

My body's aching all over. Nonetheless, satisfaction gained. Rusty shooting due to 123456789 months of not holding the ball. What a bliss! Anyway, I'm left with 22 freaking days to revise everything. Great huh. I just need more motivation. I'm determined to prove to that old man that I can really do well in my studies. Period.
Oh well, talking about examination, I've yet to decide which path I should take after O's. Mum's been asking me whether to transfer to MWTI or other madrasahs. Like, of all places, why there? I wouldn't wanna be left alone! I mean, wouldn't it be somewhat culture shock? Call me chicken. Guess I ate too much of it. Polythecnic?
Separation's nearing. I don't wanna have any bad goodbyes. At least I would want to leave the school (or stay) with my heart and soul at ease. I can't read people's mind, what more to know what's in their heart. So friends, (or should I call, strangers?) it's either we ignore it or settle it. Wipe out the hypocrisy in us.

What a world.

2007-07-12T22:21:00.000+08:00

I'm lost in my own world. I don't have a clue of what's happening around me. Call me ignorant. But seriously, I'm actually ignorant. I need a reality check 'cause I'm already high above the clouds.
Pull me down, somebody.

Can you actually believe that I don't give a damn about O's? That I'm starting to hate school? That I think too much of stupid things? That problems in my head starts to scream and yell, trying to get my immediate attention but was ignored completely?
Do you even know anything?!

Apparently, I just love the adrenaline rush. Oh God, how soothing!

2007-07-05T23:24:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna update, can?
Oh, well.

30 Seconds to Mars' The Kill is really addictive.
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

And yeah, anyone up for an examination suicide?
Tag me then.

2007-06-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

Call me irresponsible.

Tell me,
what should be done?

2007-06-16T22:32:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah..
Praise be to The Almighty, the driver found my wallet. I couldn't care less, I'm just so.. happy. Perhaps happy isn't the right word. Okay, whatever. And yeah, a great week indeed, plus minus. Two surprise party within a few days, enjoyable moments, as well as several sour faces. That's just enough to make my wallet dry out. Oh, not forgetting the work~~shits~~sheets' screaming, wanting to be done. Ah this, I could care less. Oh my, people, tell me to stop lazing around and get my butt moving. That major thing's around the corner in less than 123 freaking days and school's reopening in less than a week! How great.

I didn't know that June is a month of reunions? What, like a group of friends who lost each other's contact, get in line back? And after more than 3 years, siblings reunited? Hmm.. No matter Prata or Chendol, Pizza Hut or Ustaz, it doesn't make a difference. (Okay, it does make a difference. It's a bad comparison but it kinda rhymes). But the difference is no matter how long you've been separated, people sometimes just don't change, you see.

All I need is just a shopping therapy. Shower me with money and I'll be more than happy. Anyone up for a date? Haha.

2007-06-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

Great.
I've just lost my wallet with my Identification Card and Ez-Link, along with twenty bucks inside it. Butterfingers. I've never been this clumsy before. Maybe it's just a reminder from Him that I really need to be extra careful next time. Making a new I/C would cost me a hundred bucks. Didn't inform dad 'bout it. What's more, I've yet to know this month's bill. Where can I get that whole lot of money from? Rob a bank?

Went to the NUS Muslimah Night (Bollywood theme) with sister. It turned out to be like what I've expected. Luckily Zee was there. Nonetheless, had fun watching Bollywood dances. Oh well, I've planned for a shopping spree after getting my pay today. Unfortunately..
After buying a bag using his money already made me uneasy, what more spending on unnecessary stuffs when you know you need the money for something else more important. I just hope, really really hope that the bus driver or anyone else would find it.
Ameen.

On a lighter note, parents will be gone for twelve days, meaning.. FREEDOM! Alas, money's crucial for the time being. How great. But hey, no worries. Live life to the fullest albeit the major thing coming up, despite money wearing off, even supposing to study, study and study.

My oil fields drying up; need alternatives.

2007-06-03T22:55:00.001+08:00

Down with a fever and a few hours of sleep. Why? My guess was right, someone really took me for granted. Wonders of Friendster; a picture speaks a thousand words. My heart have been a traitor and made me suffer. You could say that you've got nothing to do with anyone but I'm the one feeling the hurt. I don't mind that but keeping the truth from me wasn't the right thing. I thought honesty is the best policy, but unfortunately I found out the other way. I took the initiative to inform you that I was going out with someone else, but how about you on the other hand? Felt that my love was unrequited and unappreciated. Thanks for putting me as your priority, but no thanks. If I'm still your priority, you wouldn't put your back on me. You've changed a lot since you came back. Or, was it me? But anyway, the scar's there. Guess love is playing tricks on me and history wasn't satisfied with me; it repeats itself. Well, maybe I was bound to be hurt by my loved one. I'm used to it.

Only time will tell.

2007-05-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

Dear you,
don't get me wrong. I was with you because they were with you at that point of time. I put on a pathetic face just to be with them. But yet, you know that between us, there would never be any bond. You hold on a grudge on me, I hold on a grudge on you. We both knew that. Because you were never true. Years ago, you befriended her just because you wanted some fame. You wanted to be popular, you wanted to be the center of attraction, but most of all, you're jealous of her; her beauty, her fame, her popularity. She put aside her hatred for you and accepted you as her friend. But what you did in return? You backbit her, you made up awful stories about her and made people believe it. Is that how a friend should behave?

After she transferred, you're happy. You thought that after she'd left the school, you could have your own freedom to do whatever shit you wanted to. You used my freind's innocence for your own good. You took advantage of her. You made her believe all your stupid stories and pathetic lies. You succeeded. Abominably, you attracted another friend of mine, and another, and another. I have no choice but to join in the club. But if you thought that I've fallen into your trap, you're wrong. Because in the first place, I was with one of them. You were reluctant to accept me as your friend and we both knew it. But we had no choice back then. So we just pretended that we were happy when the fact is you were jealous as I was still in contact with her.

As we grow older, we understand the meaning of true friendship. One by one your secrets were revealed. They know your true colours, but they decided to pretend just to preserve the friendship. They loved you but they didn't get any in return. You're just selfish. They went through shits just because of your mistakes. But still, they trusted you, they treasured you as a true friend. Wasn't that enough? No. You wanted more. You thought that you could influence their lives. But you were just too much. You've crossed the line. You went overbroad. They had enough of you. All the time you were just jealous. You ruined their friendship with others. You wanted them only for yourself when what they did was just widen their circle of friends.

They left you after getting tired of pretending. You asked for sympathy, but they ignored. They thought you could get over it, but no. You hold on a grudge. You invented a game for them to play. You thought you could win easily, but no. You're just dreaming. Read this little girl, you are just d-r-e-a-m-i-n-g. Hate me all you want, despise me all your heart. Do I look like I freaking care? You're nothing to me, null, nada, zero, bullshit. Like I've told just a few minutes ago, we're nothing. Not even friends, what more buddies. I was never on your list before, and I would never wanna be. Accept your apologies? It's between me and The Almighty.

*

I think I've just wasted a fraction of my life with her. What more typing this entry.

2007-05-29T23:11:00.000+08:00

Catching up with blogging now. Blogging is not exhibiting. Blogging for me is to brush up my English like Norule's.
And to kill time.

Life, yes it's full of complicating matters;
family matters, friendship matters, personal matters.
Everything must be taken into consideration before making any decision. But what matters the most is the heart. Sometimes we're just too ignorant to listen to our heart. I'm going through it. What I did lately is think; I think about my future, I think what's right and wrong, I think what's best for me, I think about making decisions, et cetera. But I'm not thinking about listening or even following my heart. And this is what you get - an ignorant Hasanah.

Yes, ignorance is bliss, only at times.
I would be happy being with my loved ones and just forget the world. But I've obligations. Being a daughter, a sister and a friend sometimes makes me forget that I too, am a servant of The Almighty. Seldom that I remember my duty is to the heart, where Imaan lies. I guess I really need some time to reflect back my deeds. Life's been a full plate. I rarely had time for myself. Indeed, I've yet to spend my quality time with my loved ones, but what about me? Who would want to hear me out?

Some people just take me for granted.

2007-05-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

Changed my blog skin.
Decided to be a lil' bit feminine.

Talking about changes, it may be good or bad. Everyone will experience changes in their lives. It doesn't matter what kind of change that will or have occured; weather changes, physical changes or even lifestyle changes. What matters the most is the way we adapt to changes, either we take it for granted or as a blessing of a start of something new.

Being my own self, I despise changes. I have difficulties in adapting to changes. But as time passed by, I am beginning to accept changes and adapt to them. I am changing my mind-set to accept changes as part and parcel of life, as I believe that everything happens for a reason. But yet still, several major changes in my life has made my heart turned cold and torn.

(Extracted from my English essay; Changes)

Let's not be emotional.
On a lighter note, I'm beginning to accept things with an open heart.
I'm trying to throw all those negative feelings bottled up.
I wanna live my life to the fullest, achieve my goals and pursue my dreams.
So, I hope you guys would help me through it all.
May Allah bless us.

Hasanah.J
♥

2007-05-17T13:40:00.000+08:00

Tell me what it's like to be sick?
Yes, I was sick.
Diarrhoea attack + Vomiting + High fever
= Torturous Suffering

It's not just that, there's more to it;
I didn't sit for my IRK & English Paper II,
for goodness sake!

SELF-CONDEMNATION.
disappointed.regretful.dejected.

Examination's over. NOT.
Spending my time with my cats.

Meow~

I'll be everything that you need;
♥

2007-05-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

Problem with Blogger.
Heard the news about that F-5F jet-crash in Taiwan.
Worried sick.

Anywayys,
Chakk!

Have I told you that Crystal gave birth again?
Yup, to five kittens; one died.
And so,
oh, here comes another nagging~

At Erwan's side.
Brother Ikram and his family came.
I miss Kak Ziehan and Syauqi.

Not forgetting, my new family member.
Cousin Asruwirda gave birth to an adorable Qurratu'ain.

Q?
*Coughs*

Yup, my birthday presents.
I know it's kinda late to post this, but who cares?

For the first time ever, brother presented me with something;
guess what's the present.
Sister gave me the strap with my name on it.

Thanks to all for the wish, presents and du'a.
Really appreciate it.

Especially to my buddies;
thanks for the not-so-surprising celebration, not forgetting the sabo part.
Nonetheless, you guys made my day.

And this,
a gift from orang Taiwan.
Small yet very meaningful.
♥

She was missing from my life for quite some time.
No one knows who's at fault.

I thought that if she insist to go on with her ego,
then I'm fine with it.

But praise be to The Almighty,
He gave us a second chance to keep in touch back.

Nur Fathiah;
welcome back.

GeograFREAKS.
A1, Nadh?

Sistars reunite;
After Spiderman 3.

I cried after watching it.
Site simply loves to imitate the Venom.

As if examinations are over.
3 more days!

Feezie gave me the nick; Hazzie.
Feeling high in the middle of the night.
Haha.

The day we played a game of Spider-Web.
Open table?

Please come back soon;
♥

2007-05-10T00:23:00.000+08:00

Fly me to Taiwan~
♥

2007-05-03T16:34:00.000+08:00

As promised.

Getting ready. No professional Mak Andam.

Siblings. Look who's taller?

Adorable Amirah.

My personal favourite.
For once, I agree that she looks pretty.
Haha.

Guess who; Ustaz Yusri Yubhi.
The one who owns a red sports car and waved at a Madrasah student -
specifically Suaibah - who passed by.
o_O

The Bride.

The Groom. Haha.
Okay okay, the Bridegroom.

Anyway, familiar background?
Guess where.

The Mahr & Hantaran.

The Witness & Wali.

Newlywed.

Man & Wife.

This was candid.
Everyone's looking at different directions.

And know what?
We tumpang-ed Ghufran's pelamin.
It was supposed to be for MaulidurRasul.

Pre-U2000;
Ma'arif Sisters.

Happy Family?
Haha. Tell me about it.

Cupcakes anyone?

Guestbook.
Hafizah did a Pantun in it.

The Decor;
from Chomel & Molek.

Lastly,
the Kendarats.
Thanks guys for the help.

ESPA '07 Competition was totally backbreaking.

Karang Guni Girls;
had loads of sweet memories with them.
Apparently,
this vESPA thingy had brought us closer.

Anyway,
We're Geography students; we practice what we preach.

Friends;
life's incomplete without them.

Those were the days when we have no exact venue,
we lepak-ed, escaparated,
you know, those kinds of things that girls do.

I wish for all that to happen again,
Girlfriends;

Suaibah and Nadhirah
especially.
Razinah, Amirah, Khairiah,
Hafizah, Rashidah and Fathiah.

Not to forget my Fityan peeps; I miss you guys!

Hasanah is suddenly getting emotional during an examination week.

And ohh,
tomorrow's English I, and people, readers, viewers,
(not forgetting banana fritters),
please please please do pray for me.
I would greatly appreciate your du'a and prayers.
Thank you.

How do I live without you, I want to know;
♥

2007-04-17T22:47:00.000+08:00

I'm obsessed with
M.Nasir's Kias Fansuri.

Kias Fansuri,
Mawar berduri.
Kias Fansuri,
Lembah yang sepi.
Kias Fansuri,
Madah bersari.
Kias Fansuri,
Langit yang tinggi.

Anyway,
my sister's married,
to Erwan.

Being myself,
I despise changes.

But anyway,
live life to the fullest.

Updates later, with pictures.
I promise.

I will be faithful;
♥

2007-04-04T21:47:00.000+08:00

Maladroitly,
I flunked my English essay.
It made my day turned somber;
cumulonimbus clouds hovering above.

Imagine,
you have the potential to score for your English;
you maintained your marks in class;
you make damn sure that you put in much effort;
but out of a sudden,

English Essay: A perfect F.
(your freaking mark/30)

The feeling would be a huge downer, right?
Moreover,
you failed by a mere damn mark!

Shucks, that was what I felt today.
Say, pathetic huh?
It is as if I've climbed up Mount Everest,
and suddenly a strong wind blew;
down,
down,
down,
into a botomless pit.

And yeah,
last year's final was horrendous.
This reminds me of it.
Not to mention that teacher was upset.

Teacher:
If I were to slaughter someone, she would be the first!
(pointing towards me)
Me: *Puts on a remorseful face*

So people,
I would like to read your moral of the story.
Lame tags are welcomed.

More than words;
♥

2007-04-01T00:05:00.000+08:00

I'm a step closer to death;
on Thursday that is.

Literally, someone had spoiled it earlier.
Therefore I shall not elaborate much further.

Just to show some appreciation;
Thank you people for the wishes and such.
May Allah bless you all.

I think I'm jinxed.
Had quite a hectic week with fervid emotions.

Someone had sent me a message:
Say NO to PMS.

Man, felt like I'm cantankerous!
Apologies to people who had had suffered from the effect.

[Quote]
Hasanah sayang,
Kau hidup malam malam buta ni,
Tapi tak pergi sekolah tadi.
[/Quote]

Apparently, I hate school.
So much of my improving, eh?
Pet cat, pet cat.

I don't think I can live without you;
♥

2007-03-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

This entry might be a bit late, but not too late.

Aisyah Md. Sultan

This friend of mine, she was once my best friend during primary school.
We shared our tears and laughters together, (even though most of the time I bullied her)
also our hardships of going through lower primary;
yes, lower primary.
Ineptly,
we were separated into different classes.
Although we are not that close since the separation,
I still treasure those memories we had together; childhood memories.

Thursday evening was a fateful day for her.
It was pouring heavily when she met with an accident.
She was admitted to Changi General Hospital,
and warded in the Intensive Care Unit.
Let us all pray for her and may Allah bless her.

***

I've actually made several targets in the beginning of the year;
I've tried following my time-table of time management;
I'm struggling to improve in my weak subjects;
I'm trying to understand my parents;
and
I realized that I have my loved ones around me;

My family, cousins, best buddies, classmates, Fityan peeps,
those who made me for who I am today;
Generally everyone.

People, time is crucial.
Use it wisely.

Is patience still waiting?
♥

2007-03-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

Okay, this picture is like, last month?
It was the drama thingy.
And yes, I was Romeo, bloody Romeo.
Our efforts had paid off.
The winning wasn't expected, really.

Who says handling kids were easy?
Like hell, it requires freaking lot of patience man!
They nearly freaked me out.
That was a hell of experience I tell ya.
Nonetheless, had fun.

Luckily had Aisyah with me.
One heck of a benevolently altruistic kid.
My favourite girl.

These are all the facilitators, logistics and teachers.
We have made En-Naeem's Camp Fun-tastic! a success.
(Despite the sand, the sea and the rain)

***

So much of my updates with pictures, eh?
Last week's holiday was totally unpredictable.
I never thought it would be that packed;

Watched Rocky Balboa on Saturday and had a Pizza Hut treat.

The camp on Monday at Pasir Ris Park and watched The Messenger afterwards.
Had a sleep over with McDelivery at 3 in the morning plus a pint of B & J's.
Second day of camp on Tuesday; was malaised by then, totally.

O Level registration on Wednesday and lunch at Arnold's.
Heart-to-heart talk over another pint of B & J's.

Class gathering cum sleep over on Thursday.
Movie marathon first and later, dinner of bone steak at Beach Road.
A night at Esplanade and Merlion. Cooked supper for a bunch of piranas.
Watched Dead Poet's Society until 4 in the morning over another pint of B & J's.
Had the pool for ourselves the next day and rushed to Bugis.
Solved a quarrel of childish morons.

The duty of a niece resumed on Saturday;
homeworks still untouched.
Stay-at-home-day on Sunday, still,
homeworks untouched.

***

Great huh? Well, yeah.
A helluva lot of money spent.

Always close, everyday;
♥

2007-03-18T02:27:00.000+08:00

Everything's a blur.
Things are happening so fast that,
I'm lost.

I didn't even keep track of the dates!
Homeworks left untouched;
I'm dead.

Updates later people!
with pictures.

But love is all I have to give;
♥